Sucker Punch

MINOR SPOILER ALERT – I’m not going to ruin it for you, but if you really don’t want to know what happens to the doe-eyed sex dolls of Sucker Punch, watch it before you read.

Sucker Punch – 2011, Zack Snyder

So what’s the deal with Sucker Punch? The title and the premise and the trailers don’t really explain much, which is no bad thing, it’s nice to go into a film without knowing what to expect (beyond hot babes shooting big guns).

The deal is thus -
Snyder and his old lady have though up a collection of ambitious action set-pieces based upon pop culture violence. The list reads like a clichéd internet comic:

1. Giant Samurai Monsters With Miniguns
2. Nazi Robot Zombies
3. World War Two meets Lord Of The Rings with Dragons
4. erm...not sure what to do now...Pirate Monkey Ninjas would be silly...lets just do a disappointing rehash of the climax of Batman Begins (you know, with the train) and mix in a little I, Robot action.

The premise which serves to set up all the mayhem is explained in what is basically a series of music videos. The opening sequence is actually very good. Without any dialogue it is established that the main character’s mother has died, leaving her and her little sister all the money. (Step?) Daddy isn’t happy, so he kills the younger girl and frames the older blonder girl for the murder. Poor little blond girl is then sent off to a creepy asylum for insane (insanely sexy?) young ladies. Evil Daddy makes a deal with Evil Chief Orderly to have the girl lobotomised in order to prevent her ever talking about what really happened to her sister. They have this conversation within earshot of the blonde girl, setting up her descent into fantasy and her attempt to escape.

Then there’s another music video sequence (Bjork this time) as we take a tour of the asylum and meet the staff who will later be recast as the bad guys in the upcoming fantasy. In her mind the pretty blond girl replaces the harrowing asylum with an illusion; her own little world where she can carry out her escape. Naturally, she replaces the asylum with a burlesque house. She and the other girls are no longer inmates but captive exotic dancers, with an ever present air of forced prostitution loitering off screen. The pretty blond is henceforth known as Babydoll, forever scantily clad and lusty eyed, fighting for freedom with her fit mates: Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie and Amber.




Blondie, Amber, Babydoll, Sweet Pea then Rocket...I think.
Hmm... the one on the right in the picture below is not one of the characters in the picture above(?). But you get the idea.



To escape they need to nick a load of symbolic items, and the only way they can do that is if Babydoll creates a distraction by doing a sexy dance. The sexy dances are represented by crazy, violent action fantasies. Got that? OK.

Never have huge, carefully constructed action sequences been so boring. There are a couple of reasons why Sucker Punch fails to deliver the promised knockout blow. Firstly, all peril is removed from the action sequences for the sake of a cheap gag; during the stand off between the tiny blond Babydoll and the first Giant Samurai the tension is broken when the Samurai kicks her square in the face and sends her flying through the air and through a wall (ha, didn’t see that coming). But then the delicate little thing stands up without a scratch on her! So it is established that in these fantasy fight scenes, the main characters are invulnerable, and any peril goes out the window before the action really starts.

Secondly, Sucker Punch draws us down into two layers of fantasy, neither of which clearly relate to what is happening in the real world. We jump into the burlesque house dream world from which we drop down into the action sequence fantasy layer (difficult not to make it sound like Inception but it isn’t) and don’t refer back to reality again until the very end, so most of film is spent in a kind of peril-less limbo where the audience is left wondering if it’s all just a dream. Are the girls ever in any danger at all? Nothing compromises emotional involvement better that confusion.

Sucker Punch aught to be mindless fun, and on the surface it is, but somewhat annoyingly it’s clear that Snyder is trying to do something clever. The best thing to do is take Sucker Punch at face value.

Who’s the real sucker? I am, for paying £12.40 to watch it in the IMAX. But I was drunk.

Stay Hungry

Stay Hungry – 1976, Bob Rafelson

Did you know Schwarzenegger won a Golden Globe?
Hard to believe, but having seen his uniquely humble performance in Stay Hungry, I can dig it. By this point in his career Arnold had been in a couple of films where he either said nothing or was entirely dubbed, but in this forgotten gem he holds his own along side a young Jeff Bridges.

I stuck this on my LoveFilm list for the sake of Schwarzenegger completionism but I was pleasantly surprised. Jeff plays a young blue blooded Alabamian who’s got time and money to spare, Arnold plays...a bodybuilder. Not exactly a stretch, but watching him in this film it’s amazing to see him play an intelligent and sensitive young hulk, revelling in the hospitality of the Deep South, opposite Bridges’ equally young yet jaded local.

Jeff and Arnold were only born a couple of years apart and from this scene it’s like they could have been brothers (if one of the brothers had become Mr Universe).



‘You can’t grow without burning’. Truer words never spoken. Sally Field is also in this as the love interest that the two studs are kind of fighting over.

The guys who make Family Guy clearly don’t think much of her, but she never looked better than here. Little know actor R G Armstrong gives an excellent performance as the strange gym owner ‘Thor’. You’ll recognise Armstrong as General Phillips from Predator:



The film ends in drama and farce as Thor’s self destructive tendencies come to a head amid a comedy shambles typical of films of this period. This is a serious film, but it has the same joyful vibe as films like Smokey and The Bandit and Every Which Way But Loose, the poster for which I feature purely for it’s awesomeness: