Ten Short Film Reviews 5

The Unborn – 2009, David S. Goyer
Now I’m not normally the type of dude who when talking about a film will say ‘You gotta check out the babe in this film man’. But I make an exception for Odette Yustman. Seriously guys, she is hot. So hot in fact that the whole plot of the film is put in jeopardy. The Unborn is about Odette’s unborn male twin that died in the womb coming back to haunt her and ultimately either kill or posses her (it’s not really made clear which). If I were an evil ghost, I wouldn’t want to kill Odette, I’d want to posses her and make her touch herself.
Anyway, The Unborn isn’t bad considering it’s made by Platinum Dunes who tend to deal exclusively in remakes of established franchises. It’s not as good as [REC], but it is scary in parts, although I should qualify that statement by mentioning that I am the biggest fraidy-cat ever when watching horror films and I jump at even the most predictable ‘boo’ moments.

Tropic Thunder – 2008, Ben Stiller
I had no idea Ben Stiller was in Empire Of The Sun. It was on the set of that film apparently that he first had the idea for a film about pretentious actors getting lost in their characters while making a war movie. Famously, a young Christian Bale stars in ‘Empire’ and we all know how he turned out (is that ironic? I always hesitate to say that something is ironic given that if someone says something is ironic, it almost certainly isn’t).
I can’t decide if this film is underrated of overrated. Everything about it is good... I suppose that the performances by Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr are overrated. Come to think of it, how many action comedies are as original as this? Not many. Kudos Stiller, kudos.

Max Payne – 2008, John Moore
Jacob’s Ladder meets Sin City blah blah blah...
I wonder if Mark Walberg is just as confused and disillusioned in real life as the characters he plays most of his films. Max Payne is a confused, disillusioned cop who is obsessively hunting down the man who murdered his family. So far so what. The whole point of this film should have been to exploit the main attraction of the video game it was based on; bullet time. i.e. bullets flying through the air in slow motion a-la The Matrix.
The Max Payne game was effectively the game of The Matrix, so to make a film of Max Payne seems like a bad idea as it will inevitably end up as some kind of Matrix rip off a few years too late. But the other side of that coin is that Max Payne could have been the film that the Matrix sequels failed to be. Almost ten years after The Matrix was released, maybe the world was ready for the next one.
It’s almost a shame this film isn’t better. The heavily stylised look of the film is nothing new, but it’s done well. After all the uninspired supernatural thriller stuff we reach the predictable third act; there is a great scene where it all ties together, ready for the big climax. And the big climax is a big disappointment. Moore should have tried to out-Matrix The Matrix, but he didn’t have the balls. Though he was restricted to making a film with a PG-13 rating.

The Road to Perdition – 2002, Sam Mandes
Like most films starring Tom Hanks, this is generally good. Hanks’ accent is all over the place but on the whole the cast is excellent: Daniel Craig, Paul Newman, Jude Law. Based on a graphic novel, the film has a lovely painted look to it with a palet of dark greens that makes it very atmospheric. I did find Sam’s direction a little off-putting though; in a handful of sequences the camera will zoom in or out, pause and then track. Zoom. Pause. Track. It’s a literal translation of comic book panel to screen, and it was brave to try it, but I’m not too keen.
But the story is good, and there is a refreshing portrayal of Al Capone as a level headed mob boss, not the crazy Italian stereotype presented in every other film.

Passenger 57 – 1992, Kevin Hooks
If Under Siege is the best of the Die Hard clones, then Passenger 57 is a close second.
Passenger 57 has the best opening theme music of them all.

Millennium – 1989, Michael Anderson
Sometimes I worry about growing old. Then I think about Kris Kristofferson and I remember my best years are still ahead of me. Basically a science fiction B movie, it has a definite straight-to-video feel about it, but I really like it. The premise is what makes it so compelling and makes up for the limited but still passable production values.

The Escapist - 2008, Rupert Wyatt
Brian Cox in his most typical Brian Cox role, but he’s as good as he ever is as an Irish convict serving life in a romanticised hard ass British prison. It was filmed in Kilmainham Gaol which is why it looks so familiar. The film has a strong ensemble cast and it’s well written, but they’ve managed to squeeze in just about every prison movie cliché. As a debut film for the director it’s good, but I’m not crazy about it, the ending certainly isn’t worth all the jizz that’s been spilt over it. Wyatt is apparently going to direct the Birdsong adaptation and the next Planet of The Apes instalment.

The Red Desert – 1964, Michelangelo Antonioni
Yes it’s a masterpiece of cinematography, but it’s fucking boring.

Punisher Warzone – 2008, Lexi Alexander
Everything is bad, particularly Dominic West as the villain Jigsaw, which is a shame. More than any other comic book character Punisher deserves a decent film, screw The Green Lantern, I want to see the Punisher. As Harry Knowles points out, the final Rambo film is closer to the Punisher film that everyone wants to see than any of the actual adaptations. The previous punisher film starring Thomas Jane was also bad. I’ve not seen the 1989 Dolph Lundgred version.

Three Kings – 1999, David O’Russell
George Cloony, Mark Walhbergh, Ice Cube. A combination that may put most people off but it’s actually very good. Jarhead is generally accepted as the best film about the Gulf War, but Three Kings covered a lot of the same ground six years earlier.